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Saturday, 15 March 2008

Sunday, 02 March 2008

  • longing for something familiar....

    so i went to the most familiar place i knew of. i'm writing this entry from the good ol' same-in-every-state Starbucks.

    So I have been in orlando for three weeks now and i finally hit the fence. (is that the right phrase?) Weeks 1 and 2 were exciting and full of new faces and new tasks and challenges and i was excited to hit the ground running and tackle the new city that awaited me. But in week 3 here things started to sink in. i LIVE here. in ORLANDO. WHO LIVES IN ORLANDO???? Asian people don't, first of all. That was my number one observation. Number 2 observation is that this is such a transient city. Everyone is just coming and going and it's hard to find a place to plug into and find consistency and regularity. In this third week there was a culmination of all these new things at one time: new environment, new relationships, new highways, new directions, new work, new future. And I honestly do not think that I was ready to be hit in the face with this reality. I realized I was struggling and suffering being away from people that I love and can talk to and share with. That I am struggling to hold onto relationships with people at Cornell and from home and that it is not easy to accomplish that over the phone and through emails. I realized that I was longing for someone to reach out to me and to KNOW me when no one here knew me or understood me.

    What triggered this realization? My first visitor.

    An old friend from home was in town for business and just from the two hours that he and I spent together in a franchised, southern "cafe" (NOT at all meeting NYC goodness) I realized that I MISS HOME. Talking to someone from New York, who was Chinese- and even Cantonese, who moved away from home to south (he lives in memphis) and struggled to find a church a place where he fit in...all those things resonated with me. It was so refreshing to talk to someone familiar. Familiar face among non-familiar (white) ones and familiar lingo, familiar depth.

    Especially being an introvert in a house of five girls and when everyone is trying to get to know me and I should be trying to get to know everyone else, I just crashed this weekend. I needed ALONE time from the world. I felt pulled from every side and getting deliverance from nowhere. I cried out for the Lord to meet me and fill me with His presence. He delivered with a word from Genesis about Sarah and the promise He made to her to bear a son in her old age and to be the mother of all nations. This beautiful promise from a beautiful God and what did she do when she heard it? She laughed. She kicked out the woman who bore her husband's first son. She was imperfect. There were shadows in her heart. But God still delivered a son through her! He still fulfills His promises to us despite our imperfections. He allows us to be part of His plans by His grace. Though I do not think Sarah's exact promise is in my life, I know that God has promised me things, instilled in me dreams, which He will deliver despite the shadows in my heart.



    ps: Starbucks exemplifies the reason why we are all so selfish- they make your drink ANY WAY you like it! Crazy.

Sunday, 24 February 2008

  • Current location: Orlando, Florida

    New chapter of life deserves a new xanga look and entry.

    Is God ever teaching me about how hard obedience is! On February 9, I started what would be a twenty-three hour drive from New York City to Orlando, Florida, to my new home (ask me for my new address!) I came here to work for a great organization with fantastic co-workers who live out their faith in a very real way. They're not all talk- they practice what they preach and live out the values of our company. And it's refreshing to see that. They bring out the best in me, and I'm so comfortable with them after only a week of working together. However, of course it's hard to leave home and be separated from friends and family back in New York. There have been moments of loneliness, of believing that out of sight means out of mind, that I just must be crazy for being down here.

    But at the same time, I know that this is right, regardless of how hard it is. And isn't that just the challenge of our faith?





Tuesday, 07 August 2007

  • the long awaited moment:

    if you would like a copy of my prayer support letter for January 2008 then please email me at el232@cornell.edu!

    i will be moving to Orlando, FL to work with Pioneers (www.pioneers.org) missions agency mobilizing Christians in the United States to take part in Kingdom building across the globe.

    e-mail me for more info! EL232@cornell.edu





Sunday, 15 July 2007

  • i just watched one of the heaviest, deepest and most profound movies i've ever seen in my entire life. "A Mighty Heart" was a brilliantly composed, written, acted and produced film yet what struck me more about the movie was not its raw shots, famous starring actress or inspiring story. in fact, movies that you know the ending to are hardly profound because i mean, you already know what happens how exciting can it be. but what got me about this movie was that the entire time, while i know that journalist Daniel Pearl dies leaving behind pregnant widow Marianne Pearl, i hoped that somehow in the end he would live. i saw the honesty and integrity which he lived by, the love between him and his wife and friends, the dedication he had to his work that he would endanger his own life and i was captivated by his character. i was hoping that they would find him, that maybe i knew the wrong ending to the story, that he would live and be reunited with his wife and they would live happily ever after in karachi. but that doesn't happen, at the end of his gripping story, he does die. he dies a brutal and disgusting death all caught on videotape. and you're sad, you're captured by Marianne's cries and tears, you soul sinks a little when the salvation you were hoping for never happens.

    thus, this story was touching. there's just something significant and thought provoking when you see the death of an innocent man, and the way that his death can completely change the way people think, grieve and live.


    stay tuned for a parallel story of an even more amazing man, who dies a similar innocent death, but salvation comes THROUGH Him.

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